Friday, 23 November 2012

F******K!

Have you read that paper they give you at the end of the classes nowadays with jokes scribbled all over it?
If not, you better take a look (which you eventually will) because this is the most hilarious thing I have seen in the campus, after the CSA-election agendas of course.

Yeah! You got it! Give yourself a hi-fi! (Even if that's weird.) I am talking about the "Feedback" forms. But I am one of the rare ones who have been trusted with the deeply buried secret of what they are going to do with those poor papers. These manuscripts, carrying explosive truths, will be shredded into microscopic pieces, then rotten by lustful and sadistic bacteria till they turn into bio-gas, which will be finally sealed off mercilessly in a cylinder and blasted to blue flames to roast a chicken in a smoldering oven in our cafeteria.

Or I have been watching too many animes lately.

But seriously who cares? I mean, the administration. The nerds would be merry even if Wall-E were teaching. (And I'm sorry for that inappropriate reference because Wall-E is way more expressive, entertaining and enthusiastic than half of my teachers, but then, it thinks about garbage all the time!) And the rest of the students would anyway attend all the classes. Provided the teacher distributes doughnuts, drinks and droids at the end of each discussion.

Now, for the sake of those who didn't get to see the form; it consists of 18 one-liners that are provided with 6 circles each, to rate the humor-quotient, ranging from NA to 5. And for all who want to pictorially depict your affection and respect for the instructor, there is a blank frame provided at the end where you can draw your instructor sitting on a unicorn, riding over rainbows over the B-Dome, and drawing clouds and thunder with chalk. Or you can just write a classy Yo-mama joke. And for all the obvious reasons one can find in this universe, you are not asked to write your identity.

Now, here are some questions, in random order, I would like to highlight-

Q.) Lectures are interactive, questions are encouraged and doubts are effectively clarified.
A.) Absolutely yes. Like the time I asked my Maths Prof how to solve the partial differential equation, involving spatial dimensions and time, governing the free undamped oscillations of an elastic beam, clamped at one end. And he was all like, "Oh boy! My five-year old son can solve it using separation-of-variables method!" Or perhaps he was simply referring to his mathematically enhanced genes which even have the chromosomes looking like the variables 'x' and 'y'.

Q.) Instructor communicates effectively. (consider grammar, clarity and audibility)
A.) Firstly, I didn't know that these many things are to be 'considered' while speaking as the only concern, we below-poverty-line-in-grammar people have while we speak, is making every sentence sound cool. Like when my friend asked me, "Hey bro! You wanna hit mess dude bucks shit yo?"

Q.) Instructor uses presentation tools (blackboard, slides, models where applicable) effectively.
A.) *thinking about FTV*

Q.) Lectures are interesting and engaging, arousing curiosity in me to learn advanced topics.
A.) Excuse me Mam.... Mam, where is the "I laughed so hard I probably will never be constipated again" option?

Q) Instructor is enthusiastic and original in his/her presentation and problem solving approach.
A) Enthusiastic? Yes, like I am, about my compre-exams. Original? Yes, like I am, in my open-book exams.

Q.) % of classes attended by you.
A.) I didn't count but I swear it's around 100.

Q.) Difficulty level of the questions asked in the evaluation components is commensurate with what is taught in the class.
A.) LOL! ROFLMAO! What's 'commensurate' ?

Q.) I look upon the instructor, as a capable counselor with regard to academic, career and personal matters.
A.) I get nightmares of doing stand-up comedy in the Placement Office, while the company people laugh hysterically. Oh wait! I am actually reading my CG card to them. (No. I wouldn't like to share this with my Prof.)

Q.) The instructor's overall professional conduct is worthy of emulation.
A.) Well such an instructor is like Kasab's hanging. Most of us didn't see it.

Q.) Evaluation is fair and transparent.
A.) Yeah, totally. In fact '0' is the most transparent numeral ever invented!

There are many other questions but obviously I have no clue about those, as I failed to attend many classes due to the time-taking psychology-project I am working on, that involves analyzing the contradictions to the Aristotelian logic displayed in the trailer of "Khiladi 786" and making a detailed report on, why killing the movie's story-writer, music-composer, actor and singer, Himesh Reshammiya, would get Obama a second and more deserving Nobel Peace Prize.

On a totally unrelated note, I would also like to add that I deeply respect and honor this noble profession of teaching. Because teaching is like a miniature version of Big-Boss: being in a closed room surrounded by a bunch of arrogant idiots; assault and murder isn't allowed; and there is some bigger ass sitting somewhere, continuously supervising you. So, it really requires a lot of patience and determination to teach us dumb people, constantly fighting the strong urge to hack and kill. Hence respect teachers and pay attention in the classes and be serious and silent while the class is being taught. If you don't want to end up dead in some gutter, that is.

And yes, fill the Feedback Form seriously. It's fun!       

17 comments:

  1. Thanks for making us LOL !
    Gr8 post be !

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  2. mast likha h :D

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  3. really naaice !!!

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  4. Amazing post.. I just circled NA for all.
    They gave it to us during our lab exam.. and that was the only thing I was sure about :P

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  5. this is what you are doing in your room, bunking classes continuously.. :D
    btw, mast udayi h tune sabki :P

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  6. Good... And yes we shouldnot call ashish shakya.. We have you...!!

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  7. You have now surpassed yourself :D I'm bookmarking this page.

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