Saturday, 1 June 2013

Go Bhilai Gone

I know it's very late to rant and cry about PS now, but hell, how else can I pass my 100% natural and free and room-delivered tanning time on a day-off? So here goes my PS die-ry.

So, the PS is the place where we finally get to meet those lucky students, who don't have to give thousands of varied explanations for their college's name, geographical location, origin, history, background, affiliation, credentials and other fun-trivia to every questioning passerby, in short, the BITS-Pians. And it's good to see that there's isn't much intellectual difference between us and the Pilani people (as popularly assumed (in Pilani)) except that we don't think about camels when we hear the word 'hump'. 

Anyways, let's desert the stereotypes and move on with what happened next. So, we, the Chemical Engineers, had to begin by exploring the Coke-Oven (interior temperature = 1600-1800°C ) on the first day. The sign-board, hiding amongst a clutter of shitty safety slogans, at about 0.5km from the main gate, said "Coke Oven and CCD  3.5km". A shiver of ecstasy ran through our spines; we had a damn CCD inside! And thus with this shimmering ray of hope, we dragged ourselves through the Lava-is-in-the-air surroundings beside Blast Furnaces, took lift from a My-grandpa-can-sleepwalk-faster crane, made it across the dense Fart'll-be-more-fragrant atmosphere of coke-oven gas, and finally reached the destination. There, we met the head of the Coal Handling section who turned out to be a very enthusiastic person. His every word a pearl of positivity, every act a gem of generosity.

He:  Aap kaunse college se ho?
We: BITS Pilani, Go.. (owing to previous experiences) BITS, Sir.
He:  Achha! Ye kaunsa NIT hai?
We: (uncomfortably long awkward pause) Private hai Sir, ye NITs mein nahin aata.
He:  Branch kya hai?  
We: B.E. Chemical Engineering, Sir.
He:  Chemical Engineering? (guffaws) Chemical kyun liye?
We: Liye kya Sir. Mila. (no, that's what we thought, we actually said->) Bahut scope hai Sir.
He:  Achha! Mein bhi Chemical Engineer hoon. Mera kya scope hai?
We: (a 2 minute 'What the...' moment, then a sensitive Chemical guy aggressively responds) Kyun nahin hai  
         Sir? Petrochemicals, polymers, biotechnology, nano-materials, pharmaceuticals, synthetic textiles... aur     
         Research mein bhi scope hai.
He: (still unconvinced as ever) Ab yeh to apna-apna choice hai. 

And then he explained us various processes under his supervision as we scribbled on our diaries while silently salivating and desperately daydreaming about brownies and frappes we were going to have. Finally he ended his speech with a-

He:  Koi doubt hai?
We: Sir, yahaan CCD kahaan hai?
He:  Arey aaj jaana nahin hoga.
We: (with choked throats) Kyon Sir?
He: Aaj Coke-oven and Chemical Department ke DGM nahin aaye hain.

Complete. Pin-drop. Silence. Except for a clock hauntingly ticking in the background.

Moral of the Story: Chemical Engineering mein scope hai.

And after a dehydrating and disappointing day, FB finally adds the decomposed icing on the decaying cake, by showcasing how people around the world are performing awesome feats while I lie here reading 'Yo Mama' jokes on the net. (In my defense, I'm reading those on Quora, so that makes me elite by default.)
Let me elaborate:

(a) Well, BITS Goa has yet again proved itself to be very coding-conscious as in how people here know more about G-SoC than G-Spot. (Now you're Googling, dammit!)

(b) And then some are flashing their glowing GPAs. And CGPAs. And the growth of their GPAs. And the histograms of their CDC grades. And their attendance-to-GPA ratios. And logarithms of individual semester (GPA/CGPA). And inverse tangents of (GPA x 12th Board %). And a hyperbolic of.... Well why don't they just post their ERP passwords?

(c) Lastly, some are proclaiming to have an amazing PS. Now 'amazing PS' is an oxy(you)moron! Get with it.

Well I understand, that this all has been done with an intensely innocent intention of sharing your happiness with the world because you're too excited to hold on to it yourself. Just like how a suicide-bomber can't help but share his religious sentiments with others. *Boom*

So to sum up, the only good thing about the PS is going home on a Sunday. For me. Which is 3 hours away by train. (C'mon I'm just sharing my happiness here!) Preferably in a general compartment. Preferably, because, a general compartment has its own share of joys:

(a) Nostalgia hits you black-and-blue as the guy beside you plays Govinda songs (c/o blaring-mobile-phone-speakers) with lyrics so mentally stimulating, they put Yoyo Honey Singh's poetry to shame; songs like, "Mein Laila Laila chillaunga Kurta Faadke" (Translation: "Laila Laila" will I shout, tearin.. Okay forget it.)

(b) You get so high by passively smoking beedi after beedi, you might as well freak your wits out seeing outside the window saying, "Holy Shit! The trees are running!"

It's another story that Mom doesn't like it when I show up looking like a piece of coke dipped in a glass of coke. But it's okay. As long as I ain't abandoned for Angelina to adopt.

So now, it's time I end this envious entry, with a very sweet, noteworthy and helpful message I came across at the Steel Plant Main Gate, which has been imprinted in my mind since. And before I leave, I do hope that you all follow and share it to make this world a brighter and a better place. So here it goes:

Safety At Plant 
    Safe Tea* At Home    

*No, I didn't add the underline. 




  1. gr8 one!!!hope u really have a goood scope in bhilai steel plant:P

  2. _/\_ BABE..... ASS always :P

  3. oh.. simply great!!! amazing!

  4. Soup, invert the colors on the blog. Makes it easier to read!
    *Tears rolling down my cheek as i finish reading the post*

  5. i was getting all branches except CS (dualite).... I'VE CHOSEN CHEMICAL...!!!! I THOUGHT SCOPE HAI...... Gawd!!!! help me for the next 4 years.....

  6. I guess your PS diary will make one hell of a read!:P

    1. Going by the mentioned temperatures, surely will :D

  7. Dude I have been following your blog for a while after coming across it by chance. U've got one of the most imaginative and humorous minds I've ever come across. Brilliant stuff man! Now bring on more of such "pearls of positivity"! :D

    1. Whoa! Thanks a lot!! And'll continue doing so :)

  8. I am not from your college.. still I can always relate to your blogs (which means you have a follower outside college too!).Awesome reads.Keep them coming! :)